Brittany - Beyond Beautiful;;

Continued ;; 11.13.09

Where do I even start- First off i’m truely afraid scared that I might actually be on the urge of loosing Willie I mean I might just be overreacting but who knows I mean I do have the right to feel this way ;; I am human. But I mean its like I don’t even know him anymore, ever since all this crap has been happening its been hard to even think straight about us. Well thats what he says. I don’t really know what exactly us fading away means & its going to be so hard to gain us back. This isn’t the only time this happend though its been happening for a lonng time now. Back to back. Is that okay ; uhh no, not at all. I’ve been trying for so lonng to just get him to understand that he just needs to leave all that BS alone & just be with me. Guess he doesn’t get that does he? I don’t want to loose him because I absolutely love him with all my heart and I honestly can’t even imagine being without him. Is that sain? Most people would say yes, You can’t live your life based apon a guy. He isn’t just any guy though thats how I feel. I mean the way he touches me, The way he looks at me, The way that when we kiss sparks fly(& have been flying for a year 1/2 now) How he makes my whole body crawl with chills, How still till this day I get butterflies when I know hes coming to see me. Its almost as if I can’t even loose interest in him and even if I ever tried it wouldn’t work. I’m in love with him ;; Its a crazy feeling but i like it. Never thought a guy would get me this hard before at first I didn’t want it to happen but this feeling in my heart told me that he was the one he just had to be, So I gave it a chance and look where we are at now. I’m now at the point where i’ve decided that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want to grow old with him, I want everything to just be PERFECT. I want him to need what I need. I need him to want what I want. He always says that its hard for him to explain his feelings but I think if he set his mind to it then he can do it ;; just as good as I can. He always thinks that I bitch at him just to bitch at him, but i’m just looking at his best interests I want him to be knowledged in this whole relationship thing. I don’t mean no harm I just want to help him out- I just don’t think he will ever understand that. Maybe he will one day, I don’t want to loose my paitence with him though. I can’t be mad at him and hold it against him though just because he isn’t all that smart as I am when it comes to relationships. I don’t never mean it purposely when I yell at him I just want him to comprehend it you know? I want him to know that he never ever should have worries about me ;; I’m not going anywhere(well at least I hope I don’t have too) I just really need him to know that he has my whole entire life and I don’t need him playing around anymore because its serious. No games, No play. Just me and him together- US!